What has Linpeh done????

Got this through my email from my BB. So darn funny that I almost died!!! Enjoy!!!

That day I go up north with Linpeh to Ipoh to eat Taugeh chicken lice,
then on the way kambing back to KL he suddenly shouted ...

Linpeh : OI!!! STOPPTHE CAR!!!
Me : What??!!
Linpeh : STOP THE CAR!!!
Me : HERE? In the middle of nowhere? you crazy??!!! no way!
Linpeh : Stop the car or i will shit in your car!
Me : MCH!!! ok ok I stop!!! I stop!!! Stop where ?
Linpeh : There! u see the bush there?
Me : Ok ok now get the outta my car and go shit in the bush!

Linpeh jumped outta my car and run as fast as he could into the bush
while i stay in the car and wait for him to finish his business ....

A few minits later my phone ring ... I see see its Linpeh.

Me : Halo! You shit that time need to chat with someone only can come out izzit?
Linpeh : Oi! Your car got tissue paper anot?
Me : Tarak! Sand paper u ngam anot?
Linpeh : Mahai dun play!!
Me : Really tarak wan leh! In my boot there really got sand paper wan!
Linpeh : Diu la! no tisue how to wipe?
Me : Err ... use leaves la!!!
Linpeh : Mch! no leaves on the ground la! if wanna use leave kenot
climb tree naked ledi! Lu siao ar??!!
Me : Aiyaks! lidat ... lidat ... ermm
Linpeh : Diu! Faster help me think la!
Me : OH!! use money!!! you got one ringgit anot?
Linpeh : Got! Then?
Me : Use it to wipe la!
Linpeh : Use one ringgit to wipe?? U sure can anot??!!!
Me : Can la!!! last time my relative also done something lidis before
geh! trust me!
Linpeh : MCH! if you bruff me then u die!

Few minutes later I can see Linpeh emerges from the bush ... something
dont seems very right, the way hes walking is somehow wrong .... so i
got down of the car and asked him ...

Me : Oi your shit too hard your asshole koyakED izzit?
Linpeh : No lah! this time my shit soft soft sticky sticky one! got
undigested taugeh sommo!
Me : Then why u walk lidat wan??
Linpeh : Niahma! all thanks to you la!
Me : Why me?
Linpeh : You asked me to use one Ringgit to wipe my ass lar diu!
Me : Yar ... dint that do the trick? If one ringgit not enuff then u
use 2 ringgit la!
Linpeh : Mahai!!! 2 Ringgit??!! I where got so much coins??!!!